oh, archie, why'd you have to go? rest in peace, carroll. you taught us how to laugh at ourselves...and that underneath ignorance we can find a good heart...we just have to be willing to look.
"....gee our old lasalle ran great, those were the days!"
sigh...i'm getting pretty damn tired of the rules. if while reading this post you come across words like "frickin'" or even "frackin" or you hear my best yosemite sam voice you're on the right track. i am beginning to see that all of this red tape i'm so wrapped up in isn't getting any lighter. and i wonder why i try at all when my best efforts are in vain. i'm anti-banks...and i think i'll stay that way. now i know why my uncle has jars under the bed loaded to the gills with pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters. banks are evil. there, i said it. banks are the absolute, most evil entity in the face of all of our history. they're irrational...they're non-believing....they're unhelpful....and to be honest, without our money they'd be non-existent. does everyone hear that? they need us. it isn't the other way around....we are they're bread winners...we fund their business.
maybe i should go back a little bit here. because there are many funny stories of april and banking. when i first graduated from college i moved to indy...and i never opened an account. i really didn't want one. and i couldn't quite understand why i needed one. hell, the paycheck is gone so fast why bother to deposit it, write the checks, etc. money orders work just as good and considering the number of payments i send through the mail it's the same cost as a $5 monthly fee. don't try to tell me there's something like a free checking account. i know how they work, there's always a catch. and at least i know where i stand with money orders. regardless, when i moved to indy i didn't open an account. i paid my rent to the friend i stayed with in cash and then got a money order for my car payment which at the time was the only thing i was paying on. so every other week for 2 months i would drive over to bank one and for $5 they cashed my check. sure, it was excessive, but i really didn't care at the time. i just wanted the check cashed. then the day came. i got in line for the wrong teller. "we can't cash this if you don't have an acocunt." i asked why since they had been doing it for a fee for over 2 months and it was a payroll check...a payroll check from a collections agency to be exact. "we're not a check cashing business" was the reply. i scratched my head and put on my best bumpkin look...who was she trying to kid? not a check cashing business? and all these years i thought that was exactly what banks were doing. i understand all of the reasons behind it. i can see what they have to lose, but i have to admit that a payroll check supported by proper identification and a thumbprint really should be enough. i'm not asking you to cash a $400 check from my drug dealer for christ sakes....and with all of these new-fangled computer systems you guys are running you should have no problem knowing within minutes that the check is good.
several years ago i had another banking incident. i had returned to school for the fall semester and sometime before leaving home had misplaced my atm card. i could only write checks and well, you can't get all that you desire on a college campus with checks...so i was anxious for some cash. i got my first paycheck from work and went to the bank. a whopping seventy some odd dollars....up to the drive through..."i'd like to cash this, please." "do you have an account with us?" "yes." "i'm sorry, i can't cash this...but i can deposit this." the bank wouldn't cash my payroll check because i didn't have the money in my checking account to cover the check if it were to bounce. i wonder when the bearer of a check became a potential criminal? shouldn't the fact that i trust them with my money be enough? can't they trust me with my money and go after the correct party if the check were to be made of rubber?
so last year i move to minnesota. my paychecks are deposited automatically and the small town bank where i know everyone that works there is getting atm cards so i decide to keep them. i had something on my credit report that wouldn't allow me to open an account, so it's easier this way. i get the card and am gratified at the ease in which i put the card in and get the money out. this is a wonderful thing. and of course the small town bank has smaller fees so i can't miss really.
things were going great until right before the csn&y concert with my friend. i try 3 atms and no dice. i couldn't understand. i had over $2000 deposited recently. why can't i withdraw anything? still, i had no luck. the following monday i took time out to call the bank only to learn that i wasn't withdrawing from my own account...but some other lady's. they had sent me a card attached to the wrong account. those few of you who visited here back then may recall the great banking fiasco. needless to say this is going to take a few days for them to set the card up on my account. no surprise there. i speak with the VP of the bank. i tell her how much i have withdrawn...she looks and it matches her records so we agree on the amount. she will withdraw said amount from my account and the card will get transferred. so i wait. i'm in a new state with no cash access again. luckily small town america still allows the consumer to write their grocery check for a little extra...thank you, veen's market! weeks pass and the atm card is still inactive. i place at least 2 calls and finally they get it fixed....the humorous part...well, not so humorous at the time is that it was really a matter of flipping a switch. they just didn't realize it. so i'm in atm action again and things are fine...until..in may i came home to 12 returned check notices in my mailbox. i rage, i cry. i go through all the emotions. i throw things. how on earth can this be? what was i doing? am i that ridiculously stupid? so i pull out my last few statements and i notice something suspicious. on april 1 of that year $100 had been removed from my account with a slip. i never authorized it. when i called the bank they said it was from the atm fiasco. i explain that on a certain date in march that money was removed. blah, blah, blah. i can only speak with this one person and she's out. when i finally get to talk to her we go through the whole story again. she starts to clean up the mess, but meanwhile checks are continuing to bounce all over the place. two checks i had written were sold to agencies and these agencies wanted the check amounts plus $20 and $25. two of the businesses i wrote checks to automatically withdrew money as a fee...$20 and $25 as well. so eventually i got the amount together and called the bank. at this point things went on hold for 2 weeks since the only person willing or able to help me was out with viral meningitis. finally, however, she adjusted my account, wrote the appropriate letters, paid the appropriate fines, etc. and it seemed to go away. go away that is until october. it was in october that i went to k-mart to pick up some things and they wouldn't accept my check based on information from chexsystems. i called the number i was given from a k-mart phone. i sat on hold for 10 minutes only to have my call picked up and then hung up from the other end. i called back.....10 minutes on hold and as i try to explain to the greasy manager what was going on and he adds his own white trash additude to it...well, i was ready to start gnawing his head off...only after pulling each nose hair out one at a time. i must confess that you really don't want to mess with me after several months of phone calls and condescending attitudes from people over something i had no fault in. regardless i was enraged. it had been 2 months since i cleared all of this and the long distance calls were a hassle. so i leave k-mart without what i came for and proceed home. when i get home i get someone on the phone and they tell me i'm all clear there. so i ask why i was denied. they call k-mart's branch that they work with and apparently it wasn't cleared through there....so...they cleared it.
so today i decide to try opening an account again. i've been doing pretty well on paying things off and well, it would be easier...plus i wouldn't have to feel like a criminal every month as i'm being fingerprinted in the teller line. so i go in, explain my situation to the man at the desk and he runs my social and driver's license number...whammo! chexsystems again! i can hardly contain my rage. i get out of there and head to the car before i have a chance to displace my anger. as i open the car door i realize i still need to cash the check i got today. so i get in line. my employer changed banks so this is the first check i've cashed here. when it's my turn i ask about the 2 forms of id. i have my license and my social security card...that should be fine i think...nope, social isn't considered a valid form of id. and now i wonder why i've had this thing all these years....so i have to run to the car to retrieve my vehicle registration...and get back at the end of the line. forty minutes of my lunch break down the drain, but at least i cashed my check. i've decided to clear this thing with chexsystems, but i will never open another checking account. it's way too much trouble. i'll just stick with mason securities. these little jars don't make up rules that affect how i use my money. they don't sneak in new fees....and they sure as hell don't fingerprint me.
mike and gloria's wedding vows from all in the family...written by gibran:
"You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart and the oak tree and the cyprus grow not in each others shadow."
after watching the episode the other night where al and trudy marry in mike and gloria's home i was on a mission to find the vows that michael read.....the same vows he read at his wedding to gloria. i am posting them here as a reminder to all couples of our own completeness.
my employer's husband is an attorney. recently one of his clients passed away without an heir or family member in sight...except a niece in wisconsin who couldn't make it out to go through her things. as a result the attorneys are slowly going through a stranger's life.
theresa asked me if i would be interested in furniture since we are currently without in so many of the basics...couch, comfortable bed....not to mention i would like to upgrade what little junk we have accumulated with something a bit more classy. on thursday danielle and i followed theresa to the senior apartments to see if there was anything we might be able to use.
we spent over an hour going through the first things that drew us to them...the books and the plants, which we were given at no charge and we left with an eerie sense of awkwardness. who was this woman? i knew she liked poetry from the books i collected. maury, one of the attorneys, told us she liked photography...and hot air ballons, which was evident from the many different curiosities hanging and pasted all over the apartment. for years she must have collected them in bright colors and various fashions. there were also many books on agriculture and i learned that prior to my arrival they had had to throw out various photos of someone's crop of tomatoes...another crop of potatoes. her interests were eccentric for someone her age. among the books were the orwell classics 1984 and animal farm. she read philosophy and collected the works of kahlil gibran. on her bedroom wall was a magazine photo of a geisha girl, a beauty in white paint wrapped in kimono. i left that day with a box of books and two prescious plants. i didn't even understand the treasure until i returned home after work.
that night as i settled in going through my "new" books and establishing the plants in their new home. as i opened the poetry books and the gray's anatomy book i noticed all of the little clippings stuffed in the covers and other appropriate places. she had kept anything and everything she found useful and had filed it away in an organized fashion. inside the hardcover copy of a treasury of the world's best loved poems one of the clippings read:
May You Have Enough happiness to keep you sweet, Enough trials to keep you strong, Enough sorrow to keep you human, Enough hope to keep you happy, Enough failure to keep you humble, Enough success to keep you eager, Enough friends to give you comfort, Enough wealth to meet your needs, Enough enthusiasm to look forward, Enough faith to banish depression, Enough determination to make each day better than yesterday.
i decided to keep the clippings in their home...some have dates and those dates aren't new so i know they've been comfortable there for some time now. when i hung up the hoya plant i had brought home with me i noticed a tag on the hanger that red: "hoya (wax) plant 11-4-91 velma march". i removed the little birds and butterflies that have collected dust attached to the hanger for the past 10 years, but i let the tag remain. it's proof of the plants contentment and the great care that went into keeping it beautiful after all of these years. it is now one of my oldest plants. i can only hope to be as attentive and loving as it's former owner.
while there on thursday we discussed the possibility of returning on saturday and when i mentioned to theresa that i might be interested in making an offer on the chair and danielle was eyeing the humidifier we agreed to come at 9 to help out in exchange for the items. i was to do the food bank run and danielle would go to goodwill. brad and i arrived saturday morning and began in the pantry pulling out any unopened items that might feed the hungry in our area. as i pulled cans out from the shelves i noticed the rubberbands. attached to various cans there were recipes long ago cut from newspapers and magazines. she was organized that's for sure. and i couldn't help but smile when i noticed the forethought she had put into her shopping. she seemed the type that had an adventurous streak. the apartment contained travel brochures from the far reaches of the world....many of which i was sure she had visited in her lifetime. in the kitchen i found treasures that i toted home with me...nutmeg grinder, tea ball.....peppercorn grinder. her food choices were just as varied as her book collection. she had herbal teas and herbed vinegar....there were oysters and clams...and sardines even. on a top shelf was a large pickle jar with holes punched in the lid containing flour so she could sprinkle it when baking.
brad cleaned the bathroom of its commodities and took a moment to show me a little bottle made into a shaker in the same fashion as the flour jar. taped to the jar was a newspaper clipping that advised the reader to sprinkle baking soda into bath and shower water to avoid a ring in the tub. in the kitchen theresa and i went through drawers and cabinets pulling out every piece of aluminum foil, every plastic cake or sandwich container she had ever had...there were even pudding cups washed and placed in the cabinets. we pulled out as much as we could recycle or trash and left the rest for a later date.
the time that i spent in the apartment of c. wynn...the only name i know her by was filled with a steady stream of old ladies who told their stories of how kind she was. they came and made bids on the items in her apartment...much of it we gave away to anyone who wanted it. the larger items will most likely be yard-saled to try to make up for the rent that the attorney paid on the apartment this month. i'm sure they have much to finish in the next couple of weeks. i left with a sense of accomplishment...like i somehow will carry on this ladies legacy. her little treasures have become my own....and i am thankful for the opportunity to dig a little deeper into the soul that once treasured these possessions.
